The Silky Otter – the farewell

Day lost count – the fond farewell

Dear fellow captives,

The day had to come where I say my final farewell. Why today? Why now? We have two weeks before some semblance of normality, minus hugs. They remain off the agenda. Well you see I have single-handedly eliminated COVID-19 and lifted your sprits on the way. How so, you say through sobs of grief? Well I have eradicated the damn thing. I have bleached it out of your system, disinfected it, used sunlight to beam into your veins killing off any possible survival and wiped it out. I claim all credit. Having achieved my task then, retirement beckons…It’s the irresistible cry that demands response, a bit like a family member saying “McDonalds is open”. It must be listened to and abided by (at least to celebrate level 3). So, I must go (not to McDonalds – to retirement)..

My time has come dear readers. But I cannot leave without my final words of wisdom and I know you would expect no less. So what have I learnt during level 4 that will carry me through level 3 and beyond? He goes:

• in no particular order aside from current pain levels, falling off your bike hurts, even when your speed is very low (yesterday’s lesson);

• Chelsea Winter’s beer bread is the bomb at anytime, anywhere! How did it take COVID-19 to find it?

• related to the above, interesting and yummy food helps to distract from the otherwise unending boredom;

• an Alert Level 4 moustache on my husband looks awful – particularly the current chopper style;

• once teenagers find something to do, particularly away from the home, they can be quite well behaved;

• no dishes were ever done by children without a fight;

• the awful destruction of all existence I thought Level 4 would be has not be as bad. Mainly due to good weather, good food and lots of walks;

•  the dog is fitter than he has ever been.

So on those earth shattering insights, I bid thee farewell and I will slip back into obscurity like the fine slinky thing I am.

So kia kaha, my lovelies, and adieu. Stay safe and enjoy the whiff of greater freedom in the next two weeks.

Its been a pleasure,

Silky Otter